Out of Control

God is very artistic. I know He created the world and everything in it, but today I actually stopped to think about it. I was looking at palm trees (Imagine that! Palm trees in Florida.) and was taken by their unique appearance. Nearby were some short, stubby bushes; they had a completely different leaf and size. If God made something as simple as trees to be that diverse imagine how big our God really is. And then another thought popped into my head: Do you think God paints the sky every day? I would like to think so. Each morning He grabs His brush and goes to work. Some days He only paints a beautiful blue shade, other days He decided to add wisps of clouds, and other days He decides to paint a dark and gloomy rain storm. Yeah, I like this thought quite a bit. It’s comforting. And leaves me in awe.

I spend several days, weeks, and even months chewing on a particular word or concept or attribute of God. I never get to a final answer but I come to understand it more as time goes on. God slowly introduces knew words/concepts/attributes. Peace was a theme for a while, and now that it’s a part of my life, God has been able to teach me about love. And now He is bringing the idea of “following Him on a daily basis” alongside this quest for understanding love.

It’s easy to “follow God.” That is very general. Here is my life, as a whole. But what about, “Here is my day, God. What do you want me to do today?” Yikes. That means truly surrendering. Truly losing control. Well, I have to go to work at 11 o’clock today, that’s a given. But what about before work? What about after work? What about during work? Letting Him guide every minute is scary because it means I’m not in control.

The Bible tells us not to worry about tomorrow. Another easy one. I’m not worried about tomorrow. I just think about it all day today. Each day I’m continually thinking about what I’m planning to do tomorrow.

Example: A friend is supposed to bring cookies to a party. She shows up empty handed. I say to her, “Don’t worry about it!” Or… “Don’t think about it!” I want her to come in and forget about the cookies and enjoy the partying that is happening now.

So when Jesus told us to not worry about tomorrow, He was actually telling us to not think about tomorrow. Focus on today. Focus on right now. Focus on what He has given you up to this point.

It’s a challenge, but ultimately it’s freeing.

I had a day off from work today and so I decided to follow God. I opened my eyes, before I even got out of bed, and said, “Okay, Lord. What do you want to do today?” First we went to the beach. I was really expecting Him to speak to me in profound ways, because I was feeling all, “led by the Spirit,” but He was just there. With me. I read my Bible and prayed and He was there. I was a little frustrated at first because I wanted to know why God brought me out to the beach if He wasn’t going to tell me anything, but then as time went on I realized that this was a part of teaching me how to follow Him on a daily/hourly basis. I don’t always need a huge confirmation. He has revealed Himself to me and shown me His character. Isn’t that enough confirmation to trust Him on a daily basis? Do I really need a letter in the mail telling me to go to the beach? Can’t I just do what God says without expecting something great? Because isn’t just being with Him (period) great? Yes.

I needed to call T-Mobile today to get some things straightened out. I was bracing myself for being on hold for an hour, talking to someone who clearly knew nothing about their job and didn’t care about my situation, but I got the complete opposite. I was barely on hold for five minutes. The representative was cheerful and willing to do what needed to be done.

God wants to be a part of our day. He cares that I needed to deal with T-Mobile. He knows that I enjoy being outside, and that I enjoy painting and baking and writing (all things I got to do today).

There is less struggle to make it through the day when God is the one leading. Things flow naturally.

So, if God leads each day, then He leads each week, each month, each year and ultimately your whole life.

I believe I have been following God. He revealed His plan to me and while I didn’t jump on it right away, I didn’t run from it either. (Satan is the father of confusion.) God did bring me down to Florida, but it was only for a short time period. I thought I was coming down here to go to school and create a new life for myself. God brought me to Florida to prepare me for the future. He needed to remove me from everything (even my own family) so I could become the person He created me to be. Also, I can’t help but wonder if God was using this to show me that I can move and I can handle transitions. Yes, they’re not very fun and easy, but they are manageable, with His help. And while I have not fully evolved (that is something that will take the rest of my life) He has brought the next step before me.

On June 30^th I will be boarding yet another plane and heading back to the beautiful land of Rwanda. God has done an incredible work in my life this past year in both North Carolina and in Florida. Now it is time for me to go back to my family and back to a country I consider to be a home. I could not be more excited. It’s hard to continue to move from place to place, to establish a life only to be uprooted, but it is the life God is asking me to live. There are many possibilities in Rwanda. God will continue to open doors for me because He is the one in the lead. Today. Tomorrow. Next Week. June 30^th. Always.

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart. Do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him and He will direct your paths.”