Friday, August 29, 2014

Living the Life

Rainy season seems to be closing in on us which really could be referred to as, “The Season that Requires Four Alterations to Your Outfit a Day” The mornings are fairly cool, so you dress warmly but then as the day goes on it becomes quite hot so you change into something cooler or remove a layer. Then it rains and your clothes become drenched resulting in yet another change, and then finally the sun goes down and it’s cold again. Despite the wardrobe inconvenience, I love rainy season. Next time it rains I plan to grab my shampoo and soap and take a shower outside; I’ll finally be able to get some decent water pressure.

We live in between a church and a mosque. We hear the Islamic calls to prayer five times a day and we hear the church about seven days a week. They have Sunday morning service, Tuesday afternoon service, Friday night service…it’s always going, with its lively music and enthusiastic preaching. We also live in between two small communities. Walking down to the lower road leads to duka after duka (small hole-in-the-wall shop) of fabric, produce, clothes, charcoal, hardware, ladies with sewing machines ready to create, and lots of people. The road above has the same story. Our house helper has shown me the trick for making proper Tangawizi Chai (ginger tea with milk and sugar) and so I’ve been consuming large amounts, especially during the cold rains.

I’ve also been parading around Kigali on Tink and having quite a blast. Tink is my moto/mo-ped/scooter/bike. The reason why I call it Tink is because I don’t want to have to constantly refer to it as my moto/mo-ped/scooter/bike. I’m spending three to four hours a day on Kinyarwanda, but when I’m not at home studying I have Tink out, flying down paved roads or bumping down dirt roads, off to visit someone. I feel like I’m always visiting someone or someone is visiting me. Saying that relationships are important in this culture doesn’t even begin to cover it. Relationships are everything. But, it takes a long time to build relationships and until you have that relationship established your work is ineffective.

A lot of my time is spent with children and with each day I keep feeling a bigger tug at my heart for kids. Both the ones I’m in contact with and the children all around the world. And then the tug is followed by a reminder of my inner teacher. My brothers can testify of my teaching abilities…holding them captive all summer long so I could play school. What troopers they were!

Psalm 62 talks about waiting in silence. It has taken a couple weeks of chewing but I think I’ve finally been able to swallow and comprehend. Aren’t we supposed to continually ask Him for what we need/desire? And, if we're silent doesn’t that mean we're not asking? Well, I think it means that if you’ve made your heart known to God then wait patiently until He speaks to you. Give Him time to talk, don’t continually talk over Him. But that’s not so easy for me to do. When it comes to God, I’m pretty quick to speak and slow to listen.

God has also recently shown me that I am indeed a classic example of someone who clings to Him like a tick when times are tough and loosely holds His pinky finger when life is great. Why do I not feel the need to cling to Him at all times? The Bible talks about needing Him more than we need food and water…yesterday, I was out in a rural area at the edge of the city where water was limited and when I got home I promptly drank 3 glasses of water. Why do I only feel that desperate spiritual thirst when times are tough? Oh, how I despise the human nature.


But God is gracious. And He doesn’t give up on me even if I’m not waiting in silence or not clinging to Him with every moment of every day. He continues to love me. And this love that is poured in to me is overflowing to those around me. I love this country and its people and I love the life God has called me to. 

Monday, August 11, 2014

Speechless

It has been almost a month and a half of me happily existing in Rwanda again. I have been at a loss for words, which would explain the lack of a blog, trying to grasp a feeling to turn around and share with you but God has not given me any words to say. He has kept me silent. I’m always so quick to produce the answer, and I think this time God left me in awe for so long that I wasn’t able to speak.

It is completely impossible for me to describe what it feels like to be back in Rwanda. It’s almost as if I never left, but I did leave and so much happened in my thirteen months away. Everything is so natural and comfortable for me and I think that’s why I’m fooled into believing I never left. I’m thankful I can’t take a full-pressure shower with warm water every day. I’m thankful the power goes out suddenly. I’m thankful for the children who run along the red-brown dirt with filthy hands waving frantically with admiring faces so full of joy. I have effortlessly slipped right back into the language and the culture without even realizing it. And even though I haven’t discovered what the real definition of “home” is, I’m pretty sure Rwanda fits in there somewhere.

I think I’m finally starting to understand what love is and just how much God loves me. I think what I’m feeling here in Rwanda, towards Rwanda, might be what it feels like to be in love. Love is genuine. Love is raw. Love is painful. Love is always present for the good and the bad. Love is being fully engaged to life and those around you.

Something I learned from learning a language is that you aren’t supposed to ask the question “Why?” If you ask “Why?” then you’ll get too caught up in the “behind the scenes” part of the language. When a baby is learning to speak, he repeats what he hears and slowly builds a vocabulary, he doesn’t hear words and then ask why it is that way. I think God wishes it was the same way with our relationship with Him. “God, why do you love me?” Can’t we just accept that this is the way it is without needing to know the ins and outs of His plan?

Besides walking around like a love-struck teenager all day, I’m taking Kinyarwanda lessons and aiming toward fluency. I have learned that I like languages and they seem to come fairly easy to me, albeit I find Kinyarwanda very difficult, but I’m still having fun with it. I’m working with a Rwandan lady who ministers to a special group of children in a nearby slum. I’m dreaming and praying and getting ready to take a step into several different ministries to peer in the window and see if I’m enticed. Orphanages? Slums? Widows? Elementary/middle/high school kids? Art? Music? The options and opportunities are endless, I just need Him to guide and direct my paths. And He will.