Three Shirts, One Skirt, and a Marriage Proposal

I feel like I always begin my blog posts with an excuse as to why so much time has elapsed between this post and the last. There is really only one answer: school. I spend eight hours each day in school, I usually get home around 5:00 and then I begin my homework. This is the pattern of my life. This is why I don’t have time to blog. But nonetheless, I’m blogging now.

Speaking of school…some days are great and some days are not so great. I am much more stressed this semester with academics. Math continues to be a challenge and the homework load, in general, is a tad excessive, if you ask me. I am still a member of the student council and I’m still in jazz band. I’m also doing drama again and our play for this semester is “The Lion, The Witch, and The Wardrobe.” I wanted to audition for Susan, but we have a lack of guys in drama and my teacher asked me to play a male role. So, I am the professor, Father Christmas, and the witch’s general. It will be a challenge coming up with three different masculine voices, but I think I can do it. A new addition to my schedule this semester is a beginning clarinet sectional every other Monday. It’s a lot of fun. I enjoy teaching younger kids how to play the instrument I love. I am still a Young Life leader and that takes up a decent amount of my time as well. School, friend-wise, seems to be improving. It’s still not easy, but it’s definitely not as hard as last semester.

Now seems like an appropriate time to inform you of my “love interest.” (Most of you are probably aware of him already, but I want to go ahead and make an official announcement.)  Yes, I have a boyfriend. His name is Caleb Jenkins. We have been dating for five months now. He is very smart and makes excellent grades. He plays football (soccer) and also plays the trombone and guitar. He has lived in Africa for most of his life. He has been an outstanding friend to me, and has helped me a lot through these past couple of months. We a lot fun together and I’m very grateful for him.

Update on the ankle: I got my cast removed on January 24^th. I’ve been doing physical therapy since then and I have regained the range in my ankle. I am now able to start strengthening the muscles (which resemble a piece of rubber that has been railroaded by an 18-wheeler). I am using one crutch for balance/support and I’m wearing tape around my ankle. Long story short, I’m improving. I cannot even begin to express the joy of walking on two feet. I’m hoping to start P.E. again at the beginning of March.

When I wrote my last blog post I was at a pretty low state. Since then things have been looking up. I think I can see the light at the end of the tunnel. Grace Gaskill is going to make it out alive. I long to serve the Lord, to follow Him, and so Satan will gladly go out of his way to make my life as miserable as possible. He did a pretty good job of it, and if I’m not careful, he’ll bring me down again. I have been praying for God’s will in my life and I’m beginning to wonder, “What if I’m missing it?” I’ve come to the conclusion that God does not have only one will for my life, He has multiple ones. Right now His will for my life is to rely on Him, to trust, to learn patience, and endurance, to be joyful and give thanks in all circumstances, to talk to Him. As I grow older and get closer to Him, He will reveal the next part of “His will” He will lead me, direct me, and guide me.

I’m currently in the middle of enjoying a three day weekend. This weekend has been, without a doubt, the best weekend of my eleventh grade career. Yesterday my family and I went swimming…in a pool. For those of you who aren’t able get a visual image of a swimming pool in Africa, allow to me to explain. Picture a swimming pool, any one you want. There. That’s it. Swimming in Africa is no different than swimming in America. I had so much fun being in the water. It was the first physical activity that I’ve done in two months! Today I went up to my history teacher’s house to hang out for a while and bake cookies. For those of you who think hanging out with a teacher on the weekend is weird…it’s not. I also drove a tin can today. One word comes to mind: EXCITEMENT. I got to drive!! The “tin can” is just an old red jeep that we’ve been borrowing for the past couple months. It has the most finicky stick/clutch, which makes changing gears an adventure.  I also went clothes shopping today. It was the first time I’ve been shopping since I left home six and a half months ago. Where did I find these clothes? The market. The market has everything…food, tools, shoes, clothes, fabric. I got three new shirts and a skirt. (This is where the title of the post comes from.) I’ve been taking Kinyarwanda (the national language) lessons and so I was able to practice my Kinyarwanda today at the market. It was fun to bargain with them and “show-off”.  Not only did I get three shirts and a skirt, but I also got a marriage proposal. This is the third time a guy has asked me to marry him. This guy kept referring to me as his wife and he wouldn’t let go of my hand. The first time it was flattering, now it’s just annoying.

What does the future hold? I ask myself this question on a regular basis. For many months I haven’t had any idea about what to do after high school. But that has recently changed. Doing this clarinet sectional on Monday afternoons has actually revived my desire to be a music teacher. I would love to also do something drama/theatre related and I’m open to missions or whatever else God might want me to do. I really love music, I love my clarinet, and I love teaching…what better thing to do than to be a music teacher. My math teacher and I were talking one day and he told me that people seeking God’s will for their life seems to be a theme. He said that God has given everyone gifts and talents and that the best thing to do is use those gifts and talents to bring glory to Him until He tells you to do otherwise. So that’s what I’m doing. I’m going to help those beginning clarinetists become wonderful clarinetists and I’m going to be the best professor/Father Christmas/witch’s general I can be, and I’m going to write/blog and hopefully bring glory to God. He has blessed me with multiple talents and abilities and I am going to worship Him through each of those gifts.

I guess that concludes this post. Life stays at a pretty continuous pace. I’m doing my best to maintain good grades and to learn what the teachers are teaching. I’m working on rebuilding my ankle and leg. I’m striving to follow the Lord. I think about my family and friends in America on a daily basis. I miss and pray for everyone. And I’ll try not to let so much time go between this post and my next one…

A Second Semester. A Second Chance.

I've just opened the window in my bedroom, set the iPod to Penguin Café Orchestra (shuffle), and sat down to write…a perfect way to finish my Christmas Break. Writing is the best way for me to communicate, with both myself and with others. I've been struggling to find the right words to say over the past couple weeks. I claim to be an honest person, and so if I’m going to be honest, I have to tell you that things have not been easy for me.

This Christmas break has been the furthest thing from enjoyable. For starters, my right leg is still in a cast. About two weeks ago we took the back-slab cast off because it was beginning to fall apart. I was still experiencing a considerable amount of pain and so we went to the doctor and she told me that I needed to go into a full cast…even though it’s not broken; it’s just a really bad sprain. The man that put the cast on told me that it needed to be on for a full month. I have about two weeks to go and then I can start physical therapy. This has been quiet a process. Being immobile is one factor in why I’ve been having such a hard time lately.

My seventeenth birthday and Christmas passed just like any other day. I wanted to get those two days done with as quickly as possible. Celebrating my birthday and enjoying the holidays away from my dear family and friends was much, much harder than I anticipated. Those were two very sad days for me. There is one particular message that has been ringing loud and clear ever since my birthday: I miss my family and friends and I want to go home.

First semester was hard for me on multiple levels. The last month (December) was exceptionally hard, things really escalated. I was stressed with trying to keep my grades up and finish the year out strong, I have been struggling socially all semester, and then I sprained my ankle…many things piling on top of each other until the volcano erupted. During this three-week Christmas break I have been doing a lot of sitting due to my immobility. I have lost motivation to do things…motivation to write, motivation to get out of bed, even motivation to eat. Am I depressed? I’m not sure. I have no idea what’s wrong with me. I was convinced that I did not want to go back to school second semester. One night last week I had a thought that reminded me that I do not give up. It takes a lot for me to actually give up on something, and I had basically given up in this area of my life. I had tried to be a leader, and make a change, but I was shot down. Moments after I had this thought I made switch: Yes, I’m definitely down, but I’m not out. The school year is similar to a boxing match. Round one was the equivalent to first semester. I made some good punches and at times I was winning, but ultimately I came out bloody and broken. I was down, pretty low. Round two is going to start tomorrow (Tuesday) whether I’m ready or not, so I may as well be ready. I’m armed with the Spirit and I have the Lord on my side and I’m ready to take whatever Satan dishes out.

My relationship with God is continuing to progress. I’m still being challenged with “Be joyful always, pray continually, and give thanks in all circumstances.” I received a devotional book for Christmas from my grandparents and it has been a really big encouragement. I’ve been reading a lot about staying firm in my faith, making the most of every opportunity, and trusting in the Lord. One of the teachers at KICS (Kigali International Community School) has become my spiritual mentor. Together we are memorizing the book of Colossians. I’m still open to whatever the Lord has in store for me…for the rest of this year, for the rest of my life. His will is my way.

Last week my family and I went to Kibogora for Christmas vacation. Kibogora is a southern location on Lake Kivu about six hours outside of Kigali. We stayed at a guest-house for one week. Each day we drove fifteen minutes down a terribly bumpy dirt road to get to the lake. There were always lots of children scattered along the road yelling “Mzungu!” (white person) or “Agacupa!” (water bottle). Several adventurous boys would climb on the back of our car and get a ride down the road. During the day we did a lot of swimming. (Well, my family did a lot of swimming; I did a lot of watching.) There were several other families from KICS and Kigali at Kibogora so it was nice to fellowship with friends and meet new people. At the beginning of our stay, Adam had a 24-hour stomach bug. He was the only one to seemingly get it in our family, but a few other kids had something similar to it throughout the week. At the end of the week, (the day we were traveling home) I got the stomach bug. I woke up on Thursday morning feeling terrible and I said to God, “No. You wouldn’t. I’m already dealing with enough, aren’t I?” He sure does have a sense of humor. Driving through the winding hills is bad enough even if you are in perfect health…it was a long ride back to Kigali.

Well, I guess that’s about it. I still love Rwanda very much. I love the people and the experience I’m getting. Yes, I’d be thrilled to come home, but if I were to run to the love and comfort of family and friends I wouldn't be learning anything now, would I? School starts tomorrow. Things will pick up pace again. I’ll have school every day from 8:00 to 3:00 and then after school activities and homework. I’m going to enjoy returning to a steady flow of things to do, but it’s not going to be easy. I could sure use your prayers. I want to be able to pull out of this and come out on top. I have the Lord on my side, and so I know with confidence that I can conquer anything. 

Another post, so soon? Don’t worry, it’s only about a tenth of the size of the last one.

School let out on Friday afternoon at 12:00 for Christmas Break. Since then, I have spent my time sitting. Blatantly said, it’s agony.  I’m so tired of sitting. I do occasionally hobble to the bathroom but that’s about it. I sit upstairs on my bed and read or write or do something semi-productive, and if I’m in need of a change of scenery, then I go downstairs and sit on the couch. I’ve only been on vacation for five days, and I’m already tired of it…

I was supposed to get this cast off either this afternoon or Thursday morning, but the orthopedic/physio-therapist thinks that my foot needs at least another week in the cast. My family and I are going to Kibagora (a southern location on Lake Kivu) the week after Christmas, and when she (the physio-therapist) heard this, she said that it would probably be best if I just kept the cast on until we came back, which would mean that my leg would be in this cast for a total of three weeks. It’s very disappointing to hear, but I think it’s ultimately for the best, because I am still experiencing quite a bit of pain and I’ve had three different mishaps in the past few days. I have a hard enough time keeping my balance as it is, but try taking away a leg and adding in a pair of crutches…bad news. On Friday my mom was leaning over the couch, and she lost her balance and fell on my leg. On Sunday I was walking behind my dad and my foot hit the back of his foot and bent my foot up towards me. (Being in a back-slab cast, and not a full cast, means that it has a little bit of flexibility, allowing my foot to be able to be bent upwards by the slightest bit. This is not a good thing.) On Monday I was getting out of the shower and my left foot was still wet. A wet foot, crutches, and tile floors are like oil and water, they don’t mix. In the process of attempting to save myself from falling I whammed my right foot into the door which just sent me right back to where I was the day before: in pain. I was in a lot of pain yesterday (Tuesday) and so I decided to double up on medication. So, I guess you could say, I’m advancing in the wrong direction. I’m not sure how much longer I'll be like this, but God does, and I do know that I will get my foot out of this thing one day.

I’m going to try to brave the market sometime this week. That will be an experience. And you can be sure that I will inform you all of the exciting event. One good thing that has come out of this current state is the compassion from the Rwandans. Each Rwandan that I pass eagerly calls out “Sorry!” Considering the fact that I live in Rwanda, I hear “Sorry!” a lot. The funny thing is, it doesn’t sound like “sorry”; it sounds more like “sawdy” The conversation goes something like this:

“Ooo sawdy! What happened?”

“I was playing football”

“Oh football! That is good. You will get better soon.”

I did get out of the house for a couple hours yesterday…I went and got my hair cut. The man that cut my hair has actually studied in Dubai, so I felt pretty confident that he knew what he was doing. People have always been fascinated with my hair. Even as a baby, complete strangers used to stop my mom in the grocery store and ask if my hair was natural or if it was a perm. People love to touch my hair…I really do not understand why. Anyway, Frank (the guy that cut my hair) could not get over my hair. When I first took it out of the pony-tail he said, “Your hair, is incredible!” He was meaning incredible more in a negative sense… “Your hair is incredibly thick, and I’m not sure where to start.” A little while later he said, “Your hair…it’s too much. It’s hard on the eyes.” Great, thanks. I know that he wasn’t trying to offend me, it was pretty funny. My hair cut was a success all in all. It falls right at my shoulders when it is straight and it’s just under my chin when it’s curly. I will be posting some pictures on facebook of my birthday and Christmas, so you will be able to get a better idea of the “new do” then.

My schedule received a drastic change. Up until last Friday, my life has been a constant flow of school and activities, leaving me little to no free time. I now spend the majority of my day sitting with ample time on my hands. Therefore, you can expect multiple short blog posts over the next few weeks.

With only four remaining days until Christmas, I can only imagine the condition of the over-crowded stores and the congested roads, full of people wrapping up (pun intended) their Christmas shopping. Enjoy the cold temperatures, the over-priced items, and the busy stores. Eat lots of holiday treats and drink lots of Chick-fil-a peppermint milkshakes. Spend as much time as possible with your dear family and friends because you never know when God might call you to Africa, leaving you without any of the aforementioned things.

Getting More Than I Bargained For

Quite a bit has happened in the last two weeks resulting in this incredibly long post. I do not want to deter you or overwhelm you by the length so I’ve chopped the post up into 4 parts in hopes that you will be more inclined to read a section a day and actually end up reading the post in its entirety rather than delving in and discovering that you do not have enough time in your day to complete this post. Pace yourselves…and enjoy!

Part 1

Two weekends ago I had an amazing opportunity to serve in Gisenyi (a town bordering the Northern part of Lake Kivu). I am a Young Life leader at school and our Young Life team (there are eight of us total, but only six of us went on this trip) was asked to help at a weekend retreat in Gisenyi for a Young Life Club that is starting for local Rwandans. We left the Kigali bus station at 4:30 on Friday afternoon and arrived in Gisenyi around 8:00 that night. The bus ride wasn’t terrible, I’ve experienced worse ones, but by the time we arrived, I was feeling rather queasy and I was looking forward to the moment that my feet touched solid ground. Unfortunately that moment did not come as soon as expected. (This is a lesson that I’m continually learning about Africa: Don’t have expectations…in fact, plan on something going “not as planned.”) Just because we had “arrived” didn’t mean that we had actually “arrived”; we still had to take mottos (motorcycle taxis) to the school where we were to stay for the weekend. I think my motto driver thought it would be fun to play a little game of, “Let’s See How Many Potholes I Can Hit Before the Mzungu Tosses Her Cookies”. I kept my eyes tightly shut for the entire ten minute ride, praying that we would get to the school as quickly as possible, but we continued to slam into potholes and my stomach continued to remind me that it was not okay. We did finally arrive though and I managed to stay composed through the rest of the evening. Upon arriving at the school, we were greeted by chanting, banging on tables, and loud music. We jumped right in and began serving dinner to the two hundred or so campers. After they wolfed down their food, we collected their plates, cleaned up the dining hall, and then sat down to our dinner. The campers went off to Club which is basically like a youth group- there is a skit, a game, and a talk and it usually lasts for about an hour. After Club we were sent to one of six stations of an obstacle course. I was in charge of station number four, and the gist of the game was to army crawl under wooden desks. This obstacle course was unlike any I’ve ever experienced. The event took about two and a half hours to complete because they fed each team trough the obstacle course one at a time. I was exhausted by the time all this was said and done, and I believe my head finally hit the pillow around 1am. I was up at 6:30 the next morning (or really, it was the same morning) for a quick leader meeting and then we began serving breakfast to the campers. One thing I learned during this weekend: Rwandans have a lot of energy. Before this weekend I knew that you could eat a meal and I knew that you could dance, but I had no idea that you could do both at the same time. These people just don’t stop moving. They love to dance. I was exposed to all sorts of African dancing and rhythms. They shovel their food in as fast as they can so they can start dancing, and some people don’t have big enough mouths, so they just opt to dance while they eat. After breakfast there was another Club and then more outdoor games. This time my game was volleyball. Before you get a nice picture in your head of a traditional volleyball game, let me stop you. First of all, this volleyball game was played sitting down, second of all, this game was played with about 15 to 20 people on each side of the court, and the third of all, we played with a basketball. Yes, that’s right, a basketball, not a “volleyball”. Another thing I learned this weekend: Rwandans are competitive. They were so concerned that I kept track of the score, and they would yell and scream and argue their case until I gave them a point. After the games were finished we served lunch and then we had a couple hours of free time in the afternoon, so I and two other people on our team decided to go exploring and see if we could walk to the lake (Kivu). We did find the lake after about 30 minutes and it was so worth it. We also saw the boarder of Democratic Republic of Congo on our walk, and I was tempted to run across the border for a quick minute, but the other two wouldn’t let me. Dinner was ready to be served when we arrived back and then we had a third Club. We (our team) had been asked to perform a traditional “American” dance at Club that night so we taught everyone the Hokey-Pokey. I think they enjoyed it, but I think they were also a little confused by it. Sunday morning we woke up and served breakfast, packed our bags, and then boarded the bus back to Kigali. I loved serving all of those teenagers and I loved getting out of the city and seeing more of Rwanda. I was exposed to many cross-cultural opportunities and an opportunity to serve, not to mention five different languages (Kinyarwanda, Congolese, English, French, and Swahili)…we actually had a translator on top of a translator. Someone would speak in Kinyarwanda, and then someone else would translate it to French so that the French speaker (who spoke English) could let our team know what was happening. It was a fabulous weekend.

Part 2

I arrived back into town on Sunday afternoon feeling extremely worn out. I knew that I still had two weeks of school, two drama performances, two band performances, exams and a partridge in a pear tree until I could crash. I planned on making it…but I didn’t get very far. Remember what I am learning? Plan on things not going as planned. (I’ll get back to the “I didn’t get very far” in part 4) My drama performances were great! I played the part of Mother in “The Best Christmas Pageant Ever.” We gave one performance at 2:00 and one at 6:00 this past Saturday. I was so happy to be a part of the play…it was a blast.

We had our band Christmas concert last Thursday, which also was a huge success. My dad is a very talented man, and he has the ability to pull off a great concert even in Africa. Monday (of this week) was our second band performance which consisted of all the bands playing Christmas songs at Nakumatt. (Nakumatt is most easily described as Wal-mart.) There are two Nakumatts in Kigali and we played at both of them…again it was a huge success a great opportunity and a great way to get the name “KICS” (Kigali International Community School) out there.

Part 3

I’m positive that I will not stop learning lessons until I breathe my last. Life is full of lessons and each one needs to be learned.

“When you go to Jesus for help, you get from him far more than you had in mind….[and] when you go to Jesus for help, you also end up giving to him far more than you expected to give.” Timothy Keller (King’s Cross)

When I began praying for God’s will in my life, I had no idea what I was getting myself into. In actuality I was praying for His “plan” for my life. My job, my future spouse, what my life will look like after high school, etc. I just wanted God to sit me down and tell me what He wanted from me. I really wasn’t thinking that I needed to go through this whole long process where I have a bunch of trials and learn a bunch of things. But, God knows what’s best for me. “He is giving me way more than I had in mind.” I had some things (and I still do have some things) in my life that need to be removed -negative personality traits, to be specific. I need to learn, I need to grow, I need to change. The only problem is, learning, growing, and changing is not easy and it’s not always fun. The other day I was thinking about how I’ve been praying for God’s will and it dawned me on that His will for my life may change over time. I was expecting to receive His will for the rest of my life. Something like, “Grace, you are going to be a doctor in South Africa.” Or “Grace, you are going to be a teacher in New York City.” But I’m learning that sitting down and having a little chat where God clearly lays out the plan is not part of God’s plan. Just because His current will for me is to be joyful always, pray continually, and give thanks in all circumstances doesn't mean that is what I will be doing for the rest of my life. When it comes time for me to fill out a job application, I can’t say “Well, I’m super happy, I’m full of gratitude and I pray all the time.” No one would hire me. That statement right there is where I went wrong, “When it comes time to fill out a job application.” See, I was actually praying for His “guidance” for my future. I was praying that He would “help” all of my plans and dreams come true…“help and guide”, not “direct and control” my life. Two problems with that prayer: it was very selfish and close-minded and it still allowed me to be in control of my life. Ever since discovering that I had been “praying the wrong prayer”,  I have been even more dedicated to following God’s will for my life. Right now, it’s be joyful, pray, and give thanks. Honestly, that’s a tall order, and I have a lot of work to do if I’m going to fulfill His will. I’m okay with not knowing what my occupation will be, who I will marry, or what my life will look like after high school. I’ve spent too long planning my future and wishing my life away. Right now, I’m in Rwanda, Africa, living in God’s will, and there is absolutely nothing else that matters and there is absolutely no other place I’d rather be.

More things I’m learning…

Those who know me know that I’m a believer in confrontation. If I have a problem with someone or something I let my opinion be heard. While parts of this are a really good thing, there are other aspects to this that are terribly wrong. I’ve gotten myself into quite a bit of trouble this year because I’ve been standing up for what I believe in and confronting people. I was talking to my math teacher on Friday and he said something very profound: “Sometimes a situation calls for confrontation, but there are other cases when you need to let things go. You need to learn how to lose your battles.” I cannot even begin to describe the weight of those words. Plenty of people could care less about what I think, and I don’t need to go around stating my opinion. I also don’t need to fight everything that I’m against. I need to learn how to lose my battles.

Before I boarded the plane and moved to Africa, people in the States used to say to me, “This is going to be such a great experience. I can’t wait to see how God is going to use you. Or I can’t wait to see how He is going to work in your life” At the time, I did not fully understand those words, and I’m not even sure if the people that spoke those words knew what they were really saying to me. But, boy, let me tell you, this experience is phenomenal. I’m learning so many things…so many. God is using me, and He is without a doubt working in me. Four months ago, when I said goodbye to my friends, my home, and my life and relocated in Africa I had no idea what I was getting myself into. When I said so-long to myself and began letting God control my life I had no idea what I was getting into. But I’m grateful for every step of this journey, and I wouldn’t do anything over, even if I had the chance.

Part 4:

In the past few months I’ve learned a thing or two about patience, reliance, and perseverance and pain. Now, I’m learning these things in a whole new light. God is saying to me, “Remember Grace, be joyful always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances.” I’ve learned a little bit about dealing with internal pain. The pain that comes from being left out, being talked about behind your back, and being made fun of. I’ve learned how to rely solely on the Lord and how to have patience and perseverance through hard times. Now it’s time for me to learn about patience, reliance, perseverance and pain…externally.

About three weeks ago I pulled a muscle in my right thigh during P.E. and I had to take it easy for about two weeks. I rested it, iced it, took ibuprofen, etc. After about two weeks, it wasn’t great, but it was better, and I was tired of not being active so I participated it P.E. Everything was fine during class, but I ended up being a little sore, which was to be expected. Before the start of my next P.E. class I was stretching my leg, and I’m pretty sure that it was telling me to lay off of it for a day, but I didn’t listen. (That was mistake number 1) We have been doing a football (soccer) unit for the past month. I know how to play the game, but I don’t really know any techniques, I just go after the ball and hope for the best. We started the game and things were going well, I was running towards the guy who had the ball and ended up blocking him…with my right thigh. (That was mistake number 2) I felt instant pain and actually fell to the ground, but I jumped right back up and didn’t let it stop me. I continued to play, thinking that the pain would subside if I continued to run (That was mistake number 3) A couple minutes later, I was after the same guy as before and our legs got caught up in each other and in his effort to get himself and the ball away from me he stepped on my ankle…my RIGHT ankle. Now, this wasn’t just a 3-year-old-girl-in-a-fuzzy-slipper step on my ankle, no, this was a 17-year-old-guy-in-a-legit-metal-cleat step on my ankle. (Going after a guy that was wearing real cleats was mistake number 4) My ankle twisted towards the left a little bit too far and the shooting pain traveled all the way up my leg. You would think that by now I would call it quits, but I clearly don’t learn from my mistakes very quickly. I continued to play because I didn’t want to appear “whimpish” or “weak”. (That was mistake number 5) Throughout the rest of the game I fell two or three more times, I got the ball slammed into my stomach and by the end of the game, I was whooped. I was planning on walking it off and not saying anything, but my plan completely failed. With each step, my limp became more and more noticeable, no matter how much I tried to hide it. By the end of the day I was in a significant amount of pain and I could hardly walk. [Side Note: this was the same day (Thursday) as our band concert. I went through the rest of the school day on Thursday and the entire band concert dealing with this uncomfortable pain.] Skipping over a couple minor details… I was at school all day Friday walking around on my ankle with a brace on it treating it as a sprain. Saturday was my “big day”, I had two performances to give and I was not going to let anything hold me back. I was pretty hard on my ankle and leg in general and by the end of the day the pain had increased. Sunday I did the first smart thing that I had done in the past few days: I rested. I elevated and iced and studied for exams. Monday I was back to school and walking all over campus, up and down stairs. Monday night was the “straw that broke the camel’s back.” In between performances at Nakumatt, I felt so sick to my stomach, I lost all the coloring in my face, and came too close to passing out. The pain continued to increase at a rapid pace. After 30 minutes my color came back to my face and I ended up playing at the second Nakumatt even though that was the last thing that I wanted to do. I did not go to school on Tuesday, I stayed at home and rested and attempted to recover enough to take my exams the following three days. My ankle was still not getting better, in fact it was getting worse. And on top of that the pain in my stomach was practically matching the pain in my ankle. I had been consuming so much ibuprofen over the past 6 days… in actuality; I had been taking ibuprofen for almost three weeks because of my previous thigh injury. The lining in my stomach was feeling pretty torn up and eating was the last thing I wanted to do. Since then I’ve switched pain killers and I’ve noticed a big improvement. Anyway, on Tuesday night I went and had my ankle x-rayed and I also got a pair of crutches. Then on Wednesday I had an appointment with an orthopedic/physio-therapist. She explained that I tore two ligaments in my right ankle and the fact that I continued to play the football game on Thursday, I walked on it all day at school on Friday and Monday, and I had two drama performance on Saturday set my healing process back by at least a week. Usually ligaments take one month to six weeks to heal, so we’ll see how I fair. She also called another doctor and he recommended putting me in a back-slab cast for a week to set my ankle, because I cannot hold it up properly on my own, plus I was still putting a little weight on it. This cast is forcing me to walk slowly and rest a lot, which, in turn, will hopefully “make-up for lost time” in the healing department.

Now, this is just plain old frustrating. I don’t like sitting still for hours on end. I would much rather be outside playing…football.  The cast makes it so that I can’t walk and the weight of it makes my thigh hurt. I could easily list all the bad and negative things about my situation, but that won’t get me anywhere. There are plenty of things that I can be grateful about and obviously, this is a part of God’s plan. I know without a doubt that He’s not sitting up in heaven dumbfounded, trying to come up with a quick back-up plan. He is teaching me about patience. It takes me about five minutes to get up a normal staircase. It would be easier if I had to legs and I could go get my own water, but I have to sit on my bed and wait patiently for someone to bring it to me. He is teaching me about perseverance. Along with taking a long time to get up a flight of stairs, it also takes quite a bit of endurance to maneuver those crutches and drag myself up each step. He is teaching me about pain. The physical pain that I am going through now and the internal pain that I’ve been going through with relationships at school are nothing compared to the pain that Jesus went through on the cross. He is teaching me about reliance. I need to not only rely on people to help me get around, but I also need to rely on God. He will stand by me and help me all the way to the end. And last, but not least, He is teaching me how to be joyful, to pray continually, and to give thanks in ALL circumstances.

Like I said, a lot has happened in the past few weeks. Living in God’s will is an exciting place to be, it keeps me on my toes, and it insures that something is always happening. I’d like to close with this quote by Elizabeth Elliot, “God is God, and since he is God, he is worthy of my worship and my service.  I will find rest nowhere else but in his will, and that will is necessarily infinitely, immeasurably, unspeakably beyond my largest notions of what he is up to”

Just like Elisabeth Elliot said, I have no idea what God is up to, but I’m holding on tightly, and not letting go, and I can’t wait to see the finished product on the other side. 

And So It Goes...

The other night I was talking to a friend of mine and during the course of our conversation I said, “This might sound a little cliché, but I actually feel closer to God over here in Africa compared to America. He's really working in my life.” And his response was, “When we get into a routine and become complacent, we limit the amount of space we let God move in our lives. When things are crazy, hectic, new, and put us out of our comfort zone...all we've got left is God.”

I do, in fact, feel much closer to God “over here”. He is teaching me all about patience, perseverance, and reliance… honestly, I am learning a multitude of things, and I’m also learning certain things that I don’t even realize I’m learning. Only after this chapter in my life ends, will I be able to look back and discover other things that the Lord has taught me. I do believe that part of the reason why my relationship with the Lord is growing is because I have moved away from the “normal” life that I was over-comfortable with and He is all that I have left. Up until four months ago, I’d never left the United States before. I had family and friends surrounding me and my life was just honky-dory. Why would I need to talk to God when I had friends to talk to? That was my biggest problem: I had my order of priorities reversed. Sure, I loved God, and I had a relationship with him, but I kept “my life” separated from my relationship with Him. Who am I supposed to talk to after a hard day at school? Oh yeah, God. Who am I supposed to talk to when I have fantastic news to share? Oh yeah, God. He has become an essential in my life. If I don’t spend time in the Word or time talking to Him each day, I end up feeling out of place. I am so thankful for the work He is doing in my life.

I’m still attempting to “be joyful always, to pray continually, and to give thanks in all circumstances”. (referring to my last blog) When God first gave me that command, I thought to myself, “Ah, piece of cake! I’m a happy person. I talk to God. I’m thankful.” And God said, “Nice try, Grace.” I had an extremely rough week at school about two weeks ago where I felt as if I didn’t have any friends or anyone to talk to. I was feeling alone, miserable, and upset, but then the Lord reminded me of 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 and immediately I felt ashamed. God was testing me and I wasn’t passing the test…at all.  I prayed and apologized to the Lord and asked Him to guide me and help me. The next morning I woke up feeling refreshed and full of joy…a joy that could only come from the Lord.  Since then, things have been looking up. I’m striving to be joyful, to pray, and to give thanks no matter what may come my way.

I’m still praying for His will, and I am still open to whatever He has in store for me.  My latest “key verse” has been Romans 12:2, “Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is- his good, pleasing, and perfect will.” Remember a couple blogs back when I talked about praying for God’s will and wondering why He wasn’t telling me anything? That’s because I was not ready to hear what He had to say. He’s been changing my heart so that when He reveals His ultimate plan to me, I will be accepting of it. As recent as this week, God has placed something on my heart. I’m still trying to determine if this is coming from the Lord or if this is just some idea that I thought up, and I’m also trying to understand if this is a plan for the near future or maybe it’s not supposed to happen for another seven and a half years. What I do know is that I haven’t been able to stop thinking or praying about it all week long. For those of you who do not know, the 10-40 Window is located in between 10 degrees north and 40 degrees north latitude. It is most of northern Africa and southern Asia. It consists of two-thirds of the world’s population and the primary religions are Islam Hindu, Buddhism, etc. The main point is that Christianity is practically non-existent. It’s not the safest place in the world, and it would require creative access, but those people need to hear about Jesus. I want to go to any or all of the countries located in the 10-40 Window and let those people now how much God loves them. I realize that there is a risk in speaking so assuredly about something like this, and the reason why I’m publically sharing this news is so that you can be in prayer with me as I determine if this is a part of the Lord’s plan for me.

Life in Kigali: I will never get tired of this place! There is always something going on…whether it’s interpreting what a neighbor is trying to communicate to me ( in Kinyarwanda, of course) , or staying on top of school work, or even something as simple as looking up at the sky and soaking in the beauty. Rwanda is an amazing place.

After four months of visiting churches, I think we’ve finally settled on one particular church. It took me a while to feel comfortable attending this church. I had a few issues with the service in general and I kept comparing it to my home church in North Carolina. But, a couple Sundays ago, the songs and the sermon directly applied to my life and what God has been teaching me, and I’ve felt much more open to the church ever since. In sixth grade I had a realization that I was not going to be going to the same church for the rest of my life, and in that same moment I pictured myself going to a church that was somewhat non-denominational, predominantly black people, and had plenty of lively music with lots of freedom to move and sing for the Lord. And what do you know…five years later, and that is exactly the type of church I’m attending. Just because we have started regularly attending this church doesn’t mean that we won’t occasionally visit other churches from time to time. I’m grateful to be consistently attending one church though, that way I can get plugged in and feel more connected.

Yesterday we went to a waterfall about an hour outside of the city with some friends. You really can’t leave the city and not feel like a celebrity. If you drive by a couple of kids on the side of the road they shout out “Mzungus, mzungus!!” They love it when we wave to them or shake their hands. The twelve of us “mzungus” attracted a crowd of maybe thirty to forty Rwandans. They were content to sit and watch us play in the water and attempt zip-lining. (I’ll explain in a moment) I actually pulled a muscle in my right thigh last Tuesday in P.E. and so I wasn’t able to play in the water or really do anything. I did strike up a conversation with a few of the onlookers though. They speak about as much English as I speak Kinyarwanda, so we had a fun time trying to understand what the other was saying. I was speaking to one guy in particular, Peter, and I was able to understand that he wanted water, he wanted a picture with our car, and he wanted us to give him a ride to Kigali. Another boy, Patrick, came up to me while I was doing some homework and I showed him a picture of Africa and he was fascinated. Then I showed him a picture of America and I told him that I spoke English because I was from America and he burst out laughing. (Back to the zip-lining) We tied one end of a rope to one of the cars and we strung it across the five foot wide river and attached the other end to the rocks to form a make-shift zip-line. The five kids (Adam, Miles, and the three other girls we were with) all took a turn at zip-lining. Miles, of course, had everyone is stitches just by making funny faces as he was flying through the air. Even the Rwandans were laughing at him! It was a really great afternoon. I never regret leaving the city for a couple hours. It’s always a great experience, and after today, I have an even bigger desire to learn Kinyarwanda so that I can have a decent conversation with the nationals.  

I hope you all are enjoying the start to your holiday season. We had a rather American Thanksgiving with an African touch on Thursday and we decorated our humble, four foot Christmas tree on Friday night. We sent several of our personal Christmas decorations on the container that left North Carolina last April. It’s nice to have a few decorations to remind us of home and help us get in the Christmas mood, especially since the sunny and 70 degree weather isn’t helping.

Life continues to be great. It’s not always easy, but God is always faithful. “[He] works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.” This road that I’m on right now is wonderful. I’m learning and experiencing so much. I had no idea that God had this much in store for me, and the exciting thing is, He’s not finished yet.

An Update ~Spiritually

I have received a surprising amount of positive feedback on my blog. Hearing that people (friends, family, and even people that I've never met before) are actually reading my blog and liking it is so amazing to me. In my last update (approximately 8 days ago), I shared with you how God is working in me. I've been praying for His will for my life, but I have not been getting much of a response. Many of you have told me that you are praying for me, and I so appreciate (and need) your prayers. I'm typing up a quick update to let you know that your (and my) prayers are being answered. I want to offer encouragement to anyone who may need it and I want everyone to know that God is showing Himself to me one step at a time.

Yesterday I was reminded of 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18, "Be joyful always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus." I was completely taken aback by that verse. Sure, I've heard it before, in fact I've had it memorized ever since the fourth grade, but yesterday it was presented to me in a whole new light. The words "God's will for you" stood out like a man wearing hot pink at a funeral. Here I am praying, asking, practically begging God to show me His will for my life. Whatever. Whenever. Wherever. I'll do it, Lord, just tell me what "it" is. He has given me the first step. I'm not completely sure that it's the "first step" it may be the second step or possibly the sixth, but nonetheless He has given me the next step. Right now, God's will for me is to always be joyful, to constantly pray, and give thanks no matter what happens. If I can do that, then He'll show me what's next. I am starting out small. I was planning on God giving me the whole plan in one dose, but I've learned that my plans look absolutely nothing like God's plans. In fact, I think He finds it quite humorous how I constantly come up with a plan and He has to say, "No, Grace. We're doing it my way not your way." So, we're starting small. I'm taking what God has given me and I'm running with it. I'll be joyful, I'll pray and I'll give thanks, as I wait for the next step.

Kigali to Kampala to Jinja and Back

I realize that it was been way too long since I last updated my blog. My life is a pretty steady flow: Wake up, go to school, go to student council, jazz band, drama, or Bible study (depending on the day), come home and eat dinner, do homework, go to bed, do it all again the next day. As you can see that does not leave a whole lot of free time.  I do have some exiting things to share and so I have created some time for me to sit down and update my blog.

Let me start with this: God is doing something big in my life. He is changing me. I’m still Grace Gaskill, but I’m maturing and growing and changing spiritually. I’m so glad that God called my family and me to Rwanda and life here is great, but it’s not always easy. I’ve actually been struggling lately, and I’ve had some rough days. Here’s the deal: I have been praying for about three months now that God will show me His plan for my life. I understand that I will not be truly happy and filled up unless I’m living in His will. And that’s exactly what I want. I want to go wherever and do whatever God wants me to do. When I first started praying that prayer, I expected God to tell me what He wanted…right away. I did not count on it taking this long and I did not plan on going through this whole process. Right now, I’m not ready to hear His plan. That’s why He hasn’t told me yet. I have to learn more things and go through more things in order to be ready for The Plan. He has taken away all of my desires and my own plans for life after high school. As of right now, I’ll be staying at home doing nothing for the rest of my life because I don’t have a single plan or desire. I have had some very hard days. I’ve felt like giving up, in fact, I’ve felt like I had reached rock bottom. Here I am, giving my whole life over to God and I find myself feeling alone and not having a single plan. But, God is teaching me to rely entirely on Him. If He takes everything that I know away from me, is life still good? The answer is yes. God has given me countless verses of encouragement. Jeremiah 29:11-13. Proverbs 16:3 and 16:9. Matthew 6:25-34. James 1:12. Hebrews 13:5-6…God has also given me Sara Groves. Sara Groves is a wonderful, Christian artist who has written some truly fantastic music. Her lyrics are great, and there are several songs that I feel were written specifically for me, they have been so encouraging to me. Particularly this one phrase in her song, Song for my Sons, “I can’t say that life will always go on like it should, but I can say that God is always good.” My life is definitely not going on like it should, or going on the way I wanted it to go, but God is still good. Right now I’m “in the waiting”. I’m waiting on God to tell me what He wants from me. I’m open to anything. I know that He will adequately prepare me for whatever He has in mind for my life. I realize that the roads will not always be easy…but He will be with me every step of the way.

Now, for a change of topic…My family and I just spent this past week in Uganda! We had the week off from school and so we decided to take advantage of the holiday and see a little bit more of Africa. It was quite a trip. We left Kigali on Monday morning and we arrived back into town last night. We experienced some pretty wild things during our trip, starting with the bus ride…

Yes, we rode on a bus all the way from Kigali, Rwanda to Kampala, Uganda. (Kampala is the capital of Uganda.) The bus ride was terrible. That’s really the only way to describe it. Imagine spending ten hours in a bus driving down windy, bumpy African roads. I thought I knew what it was like to be car sick, but let me tell you…Also, the bus driver played very loud music. Sometimes rap, sometimes pop, sometimes Dolly Parton and Kenny Rogers, but whatever it was, it was loud. So loud that I could not even carry on a conversation with my mom, who was sitting right next to me. I couldn’t read, I couldn’t talk, all I could do was sleep and day dream. Like I said, it was terrible.

We arrived in Kampala after around 8:30 on Monday night. Kampala is much different than Kigali. Kampala is not a safe as Kigali and it’s not as orderly and clean. Arriving in a foreign city, at night, and being the only mzungus (white people) at the bus station was probably not the smartest idea, but thankfully a friend in Kigali had arranged for a driver to pick us up from the bus station and take us to our guest house. If Ivan (the driver) had not come to pick us up, I have no idea what we would have done.

Kampala was not our final destination though. We were headed to Jinja, Uganda to see some good friends from our home church in North Carolina, the Greers. Technically we were headed to Good Shephard’s Fold Orphanage (GSF) which is located in the middle of a sugar cane field just outside of Jinja. We woke up on Tuesday morning and a driver came to pick us up and take us to GSF. It was about an hour and a half drive, and it was much smoother and quieter than the bus ride.  We spent the rest of Tuesday and all of Wednesday and Thursday at GSF. It was so great to see the Greers, to play with all of those sweet kids, and enjoy a change of pace. Life is much slower paced at GSF, especially compared to our life in Kigali.  Many church groups come to visit the Greers and help out at the orphanage. Our time with the GSF was a little different than most. For starters, we were already used to bumpy dirt roads, the food, sleeping under a mosquito net…etc. We did not really have to adapt ourselves too much that way.  Also, we came for more of a vacation. Yes, we did help out with a few projects and we played with the kids, but it wasn’t like we were there on a short-term mission trip. The Greers took us into Jinja on Thursday afternoon. We went on a little boat ride on the Nile River and saw some exotic birds and lizards. Chances are there were other reptiles but I, thankfully, did not see any of them.  After the boat ride, we went into downtown Jinja. There were so many things to do and see on that one little road in Jinja, it was so cool.

Our driver came to get us on Friday morning and take us back to Kampala. Kampala is a little bit more westernized than Kigali. There are more places to shop, and you can find things in Kampala that you can’t find in Kigali. We took advantage of the cheaper prices and did some shopping on Friday and Saturday. Oreos are one thing that you can find in Kampala. Let me tell you…I was one happy girl when I had my first double-stuffed Oreo in three months. You begin to appreciate little things like Oreos when you don’t have access to them anymore. There are several large shopping malls in Kampala too. I’m pretty sure we experienced culture shock when we walked into Game (a store that is similar to Wal-mart). It was crazy! The lighting, the aisles, all the stuff! I felt like I’d been out in a village for three years, but really I’ve been living in a city for three months. Another thing that we did while in Kampala is go bowling. Yes, Kampala has a real bowling alley. It was pretty fun. Kampala is much more polluted and disorganized than Kigali. Traffic is bad…very bad. Often times, in the States, people will say something like “That guy needs to get off the road; he doesn't know how to drive.” People in the States have no idea what a bad driver is. Driving in Kampala is quite the experience. It’s similar to driving in Kigali, but Kigali is not as crowded as Kampala. Also, the boda-bodas are another reason why the streets are so crowded. Boda-bodas are the equivalent to motos which are the equivalent to motorcycle taxis. Boda-bodas are much more dangerous than motos though, because you don’t wear a helmet and you can put four or five people on one boda-boda. (Remember, it’s just the size of a regular motorcycle.)

Instead of taking the bus back to Kigali on Sunday, we hired a driver. The drive was still long, and not always the smoothest, but it was much, much nicer.  On this trip, I crossed a boarder, I crossed the equator and I crossed the Nile (a small section of it, anyways). It was a great trip, but I am so glad to be back in Kigali.

Well, that’s our trip in a nutshell. We go back to school tomorrow, so the pace will pick up again. I’ll do my best to keep you updated with our life here. Thank you for your support and thank you for your prayers. We miss everyone back home, but we love life here in Kigali.