Waiting

In some circumstances I have a lot of patience; other times I don’t have any patience at all. I have no problem waiting in Rwanda because I understand that it’s part of the culture. I can wait in line for many minutes too long, or wait for my food for many hours too long and not think anything of it. On the other hand, I tend to be spontaneous and impulsive, and if I make my mind up to do something, I want to do it right then. I do not want to wait.

I have been praying for a very specific request for what feels like a long time. Asking God to show me His way. Asking Him to make it clear.

And He says wait.

But I don’t want to wait. I want the answer right now so I know how to move forward. So that I know how to plan my week, my year, my life.

And He says wait.

Right now, today, I don’t need to know what will be happening in the summer months, or after college graduation. Those things do not pertain to the events of today. God will give me the answers I need when I need them. He gives what we need for each day. Manna for today. One day at a time.

Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart.

 Commit your way to the Lord; trust in Him and He will act.

Psalm 37:4-5

I do delight in the Lord, I have committed my way to Him, and I do trust Him. So now I wait. I’m waiting for Him to reveal the desires of my heart, I’m waiting for Him to act.

And in my waiting I take matters back into my own hands because He isn’t acting fast enough. So then I have to go back and renew my delight, commit my ways once again, and reestablish my trust. And wait.

Waiting isn’t always very fun. In this day and age, especially in American culture, we want instant gratification. However, there is anticipation in waiting. Eventually the thing you are waiting for will arrive. As a kid, the month of December seems to drag on because you are so excited to open Christmas presents. The anticipation is almost unbearable, and then finally, that marvelous day arrives, and the waiting is over.

God won’t make me wait forever. He will reveal Himself and His ways to me, but I must wait. And, in the meantime, continue to delight, commit, and trust.