Softening

Today is, as Mary Poppins would say, practically perfect in every way.

This weather is splendid. Words cannot adequately describe what it is doing to my soul.

God gives us exactly what we need when we need it. He knew I needed this brief break from the winter weather (and maybe it’s not just me that needed the pause). The weather is Rwanda-like, with a bright blue sky, warm sun, and a mild-shirt-sleeve temperature. Unlike Rwanda, the autumn colors are brilliant but quickly falling. The smell of ripe leaves is thick in the air. The lush green grass on which I am sitting (also unlike Rwanda, because I wouldn’t be allowed to sit in the grass) is hinting at turning to an ugly brown color. The Winter Solstice sun is already dipping behind the building, even though it is the middle of the afternoon.

I had to dig deep, shuffling through the corners of my heart and blow dust off forgotten shelves, but a few days ago I found myself searching for God’s gifts. God’s everyday graces. And responding in a heart of thankfulness. And so on that day of deep digging I counted…

Five geese waddling in a single line

Unexpected encounters with a friend

Rosy cheeks

And just like that, my heart began to soften. Like candle wax, the protective layer around my heart began to melt.

And God has been showing me His gifts daily. Although, knowing God, they were there all along, I was just walking with my head down.

And I am realizing how selfish I am. And how selfless He is. And that I was called, by Him, to do great and wonderful things for the Kingdom.

And I am walking with my head down.

But there He is. Always, ever present. There to lift my head in my time of trouble. And lead me on the path of truth. To soften my heart and remind me that He has given me so much to live for, to sing for, to jump and shout and proclaim and exclaim and it goes on… I know where I’m going. I know who I am in Christ. And that is enough.

I have set the Lord always before me;

Because He is at my right hand, I shall not be shaken.

Therefore my heart is glad, and my whole being rejoices;

My flesh also dwells secure.

Psalm 16:8-9