Eyes Wide Open

Searching.

Rustling pages of Bible.

Frantically scribbling down new revelations.

Searching.

Arms open.

Eyes open.

Heart open.

Searching.

Expectantly waiting.

This is me – I’m feeling full and satisfied yet I’m hungry and can’t seem to get enough.

I recently reread Ann Voskamp’s book, 1000 Gifts. She talks about finding God’s gifts in everyday life, and she actually goes even beyond that in saying that everything, good and bad, is all a gift. It’s all grace.

She’s given me a lot to think about, and has also inspired me to go searching for His gifts again. I started keeping a “gift journal” in July 2013, when I first read her book, but then life got hard and I became restless and I stopped counting gifts. God still continued to give the gifts even when I wasn’t really looking for them. I noticed a few, jotted them down, but didn’t maintain consistency.

Last month I started counting again. It’s been like a breath of fresh air to live every day so expectantly. Waiting to see what gifts God is going to give me today.

Last week, Adam and I went to Dubai and Sharjah, two emirates of the United Arab Emirates. We had fun exploring and diving into a new culture together, but if I’m going to be completely honest, it was a hard week for me. It is a country consumed by Islam and worldly things. It is a country that says, “Look at what we (man) has accomplished!” They have record-breaking architectural structures, and man-made…everything. They even have plans for building an air-conditioned beach. They have taken everything natural, everything God-made, and turned it into a self-righteous place.  

I searched and searched for God’s gifts in Dubai and Sharjah. Even the night sky was starless. My heart felt void. Is God not there?

I believe He is there, because I believe God is everywhere. But, goodness gracious, He is so sequestered. It’s heartbreaking.

When I got off the plane in Kigali, Rwanda on Saturday night it was as if God bombarded me with gift after gift. The smells. The sights. The sounds. It reeked of Jesus and His love for me. Everything was singing for Him. I’ve said it before, and I’ll continue to say it – Rwanda is a beautiful place.

I love this life He has given me.

And so I will continue

Searching.

With arms open.

Eyes open.

Heart open.

Drawing closer.

Expectantly waiting.