Recently on Facebook, my mom posted a picture of me on top
of Table Mountain in South Africa. It was so good to see that picture and allow
memories to wash over me. I loved hiking Table Mountain, but even more than the
hike, I loved the view at the top.
Upon reaching the top of the mountain, my fellow hikers and
I took pictures in attempt to capture the beauty of it all. But, inevitably, we
had to begin our decent downward sooner or later. We could only sit up there
and drink in the splendor for so long. We couldn’t stay there forever.
In My Utmost for His
Highest Oswald Chambers talks about not forgetting what God revealed to you
in the mountaintop experiences, especially while you are down in the valley.
Chambers warns us that valley-times of our relationship with God will come. We
can’t stay on the mountaintop forever. But the question is: how do we handle
the valley experiences? Do we forget what He showed us? Or do we cling to it?
While I was in Rwanda God made things pretty clear to me. And
then I got to college and contemplated jumping the ship. I picture an American
football team who meets in the locker room before a big game. They’re in a
huddle, getting pumped, the coach is building them up and reviewing the game
plan. Ready? Break! The team goes out
to the field, sees their competition and starts to sweat. The opposing team is
bigger than they thought. The whistle blows and suddenly the team, who was so
ready just moments before, starts running every which way, in utter chaos, abandoning
the plan, going into survival mode. And why? If they would just stick with the
plan the coach had laid before them, they would have made the play and
potentially won the game.
Unfortunately I reacted in a very similar way once I got to
college. It’s not necessarily that I abandoned
the plan, I just panicked and then forgot the plan. I started to question
everything. I faced doubt and discouragement on a daily, even hourly, basis. Did I hear God right? Is this the right
major? Does He really want me to go to college here…or at all?
Freeze.
Satan cannot exist on the mountaintop. It’s easy to hear God
loud and clear because there aren’t any distractions, temptations, or degrading
voices. But, Satan lurks in the shadows in the crevices of the mountain and in the
dark places of the valley, waiting there to steer you off track.
And I didn’t see it coming.
I began my decent down the mountain, lost my footing, and
then somersaulted, rather ungracefully, to the bottom.
I forgot. I forgot what God revealed to me on my mountaintop
experience. I forgot the game plan.
Before leaving Rwanda, I knew, with confidence, that God
laid this major and this college before me. This is where He wants me; this is
what He is calling me to do.
I’m back on two feet again (hence the blog post). That’s the
beauty of Jesus. He comes down and wades around in the muddy water with you
until you can see the path again.
I have to keep hiking. I have to keep climbing. I have to remember
what He once showed me. It’s a fierce battle, fighting off doubt and discouragement,
but I have Him on my side, fighting hard with me, for me.
Really, college is great. I like the school, I like my
friends, I like my roommates, and I like my classes. I have nothing to complain
about. I will march on, one day at a time, trusting in Him and His great plan.
