A Blank Wall

Nobody likes a blank wall. Blank walls are boring. Blank walls are nothing.

Except…

A blank wall can be turned in to anything. A blank wall is waiting for the artist to come in and turn it in to something beautiful and unique.

A blank wall doesn’t have to stay a blank wall.

It can become something great.

What if we all start out as blank walls… we pick up the paintbrush and begin to add colors here and there, designing the wall the way we want it to look.

Keep in mind that behind all the bright colors there is nothing. It’s just a blank wall.

But we keep painting. And somewhere in our childlike minds we think that maybe if we pick the right colors and paint the right shapes, we’ll be able to make our wall so interesting and wonderful that people will stand in awe, just soaking in the glorious painting we created.

But, alas, no, that is not the way it works.

Do you remember when you were little and your mom sat you down at the table and gave you the paper and the finger paints? And you didn’t understand that the more colors you used, the more brown the paper became. And the messier your hands became. And then you got to the point where you looked at your mom and held up your hands and said “I’m done” with a slightly disgusted look on your face.

That, is a little closer to the way it works.

So, the more painting and striving we do, the more brown our wall becomes. In fact, a blank wall becomes almost appealing.

We hold up our hands in surrender and say “I’m done” with a slightly disgusted look on our face.

Then God comes in and lovingly wipes are hands clean. And covers our horrifying wall in a coat of fresh white paint.

And we are left standing in front of the wall, tempted to start painting again. Because blank walls are not only boring, they’re also vulnerable.

God picks up His paintbrush and slowly, oh so slowly, begins to paint. After staring at it for hours you still cannot guess what He could possibly be painting.

And you get tired of waiting, so you sneak over to the corner and begin to paint a little, just on the edge of the wall. 

But you quickly get carried away and before you know it you’ve painted half the wall again.

What you didn’t realize is that while you were painting away, God was coming behind you with the white paint.

Every time you attempted to paint, God erased it.

Every time you started to plan your life the way you wanted it to go, God erased it.

Not out of spite. Not with the intention of making you miserable.

Out of love.

Because He can see further down the road then we can. And He knows what is best for us.

So, really, there is nothing left for us to do but sit in front of the blank wall and wait.

Wait for the Master to create a masterpiece.

And so, if we are blank walls, doesn’t that mean that we, eventually, will be a masterpiece?

Achieving Happiness

“For a long time it seemed to me that life was about to begin – real life. But there was always some obstacle in the way, something to be gotten through first, some unfinished business, time still to be served, a debt to be paid. At last it dawned on me that these obstacles were my life. This perspective has helped me to see there is no way to happiness. Happiness is the way. So treasure every moment you have and remember that time waits for no one. Happiness is a journey not a destination.” 

Not sure who Alfred D. Souza is, but the quote is applicable to my life, so I’m using it.

I’m very goal driven. I have a task at hand, I work until it’s complete, and then I close it and move on to the next thing. Over and over and over.

So, lately, my task has been to achieve “happiness”….to achieve success, perfection, the ideal life, etc. etc. It’s my task, and I’ve been working hard to reach the ending point of finding positive emotions (i.e. happiness). And now I laugh, because that sounds so silly. Souza is absolutely right. Happiness is not a destination. Happiness is an emotion that comes on the way to the destination. And what is the destination? Well…that’s still to be determined. The church-girl answer would be “Jesus.” The old-Grace answer would be, “Perfection.” And while I believe both answers are correct, I think I need to travel the road a little more before I discover the actual destination.

Or maybe there isn’t a destination. Maybe my life will be this journey. And my destination is death. Isn’t that sort of the point? I go through life, enduring trials, with patience and joy, until Jesus calls me home. (A rough synopsis. I realize there is so much more to life, but life ultimately leads to death, no?) 

And also, if happiness is a journey, doesn’t that mean that disappointment, frustration, and anger are also a journey. It’s just that people don’t strive to attain disappointment. No one wants to focus on the bad. Only the good. But the bad aspects are just as much a part of the journey as the good aspects.

And what happens when you are on this journey, and you’re experiencing happiness and you’re thinking that your bent-out-of-shape life is finally taking a recognizable shape again, and then, it springs back out of shape because the people you were relying on didn’t hold up their end of the deal or didn’t believe in you. Then what?

This would be the hard part of the journey. And I think this is where we begin to think that happiness is a destination. Because, surely, feeling disappointment isn’t the final product. It must be the opposite of disappointment. Therefore, happiness. And thus, we conclude with happiness being the end goal.

Enough with the rambling.

It’s a journey. Life is. Positive and negative. Uphills and downhills. Joys and struggles. Embrace it all, because “time waits for no one.”